Confidence for Women: An HDT Offering
I believe this – whole heartedly. If you advance confidently towards your dreams… they will happen. Period. You may be a rabbit, you may be a turtle, but it will happen.
Have a great weekend!
Posts from the ‘Women Entrepreneurship’ Category
Mar 16
Apple’s Words Worth Reading…
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.
*image from here
Confidence for Women: International Women’s Day!
My mother used to say everyday was kid’s day and that is why you need a Mother’s Day in May and Father’s Day in June. Now that I have children I kind of agree.
I also think of each day as Women’s Day!
Who else could be a woman, wife, girlfriend, mom, girl friend, boss, co-worker, teammate, officemate, home-maker, housekeeper, chef, stylist, advisor, caregiver and sometimes Barer of Bad News??
Surely, not my dad, either of my brothers, my guy friends, FIL or the HB – respectfully.
Continue on Ladies!
*image from pinterest
Confidence for Women: 3 Cs That Could Change Everything.
I've been thinking about change...
I have been thinking about what is required to create change. In my experience, change is easy because I know it as a process. Yes, it takes hard work but there are necessary elements required to create change. I have several opinions around this but simply put there are 3 Cs that could change everything!
“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” ― Leo Tolstoy
Change. You have to believe in it before it can happen. AND really believe. At my lowest of low, I knew I still had to do something, anything, to get out of the funk I was in. It didn’t matter what I did, I knew that doing enough somethings would help me find the change. Change. In order to have it, you must believe it is possible.
“The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.” – Anthony Robbins
Commitment. So many of us try and think – well “I tried” once they fail or fall. When I look at my toddler, this little one that has eaten “it” so many times. Some falls are harder than others but she is committed. Committed to getting up and trying again. New Year’s Resolutions often fail because we never really think it will take a year to lose those extra pounds or make that change we “so” desire. After a month, maximum!, we recognize that hard work is required and we stop and go back to our typical routine. Being committed to the change is also half the battle.
“Invisible threads are the strongest ties” ―Friedrich Nietzsche
Connection. As women, we are driven to connection. The baker loves that others enjoy the cookies of her happy childhood. The chef loves the feeling of bringing good food to a family. The decorator loves the joy of bringing beauty into that couple’s home for them. I love being able to give people peace and time as if it were tangible. It’s the connection that we love however we find it.
I invite you to think of these three Cs as you go on your day. What connections are you making? What is nagging at you to change? And what will you commit to? Adding any one of these things into your daily life will have a great impact. Imagine if you added all three??
**image from pinterest
Confidence for Women: BREAK THAT ROUTINE!
Break your routine. I PROMISE you will feel good afterwards.
- If you let the alarm go off for ages, try waking up before you have heard it the umpteenth time.
- Get OJ instead of coffee or coffee instead of OJ.
- Walk it instead of ride it.
- Use that pen instead of the pencil or computer.
- Call instead of text.
- Write instead of email.
- Smile instead of frown.
- Laugh instead of listen.
- Listen instead of pretending to.
- Stop and take that 2 minute break.
- Walk instead of run.
- Run instead of walk.
Your break in routine will remind you that you are alive. It will show you that the world is not as serious as you hold it to be and for good reason! It will remind you that the world won’t fall apart if you do something different but that in fact this new thing will indeed create a better world for you!
Good luck! Have fun! And share if you like!
*image from pinterest
Time Management: 3 Ways That Fire Won’t Ruin Your Productive Day
We have all been there. The day blows up before it begins! Something happens at home or in the office and we are off scrambling. The day’s plan is forgotten because this customer is in crisis or needs your services as of yesterday. Heck the Internet could have gone out! (Remember when that happened to my home office and how painful the experience was getting it back up and running??)
Putting out fires is not only time consuming but energy consuming too. So before your day is completely lost to someone else’s priorities, try these few things to keep calm and in control of what will make your productive day.
- Breathe. Bring intention into your breath. What is they say, “slow down so you can speed up”? Take a moment to realize you can handle whatever is in front of you, that there will be enough time and of it all, the most important things will get done.
- It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of the activity including scrambling around fears of what could happen if X doesn’t get accomplished. Stay focused on the big picture. Why is this fire important? What is the number one thing that needs to occur in order to control the fire and release the pressure? Once this number activity is completed, do you feel a release from the pressure? Can you return to your other, already determined priorities?
- Make room for adjustments to your schedule. I come from the work ethic that I will “move mountains to fulfill a commitment I have made to you.” That said, I am also very conscientious of the strong commitments I make. This means, when planning an activity – leave wiggle room for delays. There are always delays. Always. If you have a hard deadline, add room for potential delays before setting the hard deadline.
I hope these activities will get you started in keeping a fire at bay in your home or work life. Keeping calm and focused will help your day stay productive. Leaving room for potential delays in your schedule will also help when they do arise!
*image from pinterest
ABCs of Getting Stuff Done!
A is for Accommodation. Stop accommodating everyone else now!
B is for Begin. Begin now. Whatever it is, you must start!
C is for Charge. Take charge of the situation. So many of us live passive lives – those who don’t get what they want.
D is for Do It Now. What are you waiting for? If you continue to wait, someone else will get it.
E is for Excuses. There will always be excuses and
F is for “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn.”
G is for Good for you. Celebrate the good, move on from the rest.
H is “Heck I don’t know – but it’s still not going to stop me!”
I is Imagine the finish line. You need it to get there.
J is for “Just.” It can never “just” happen. Hard work is involved!
K is for Killer. That killer instinct that you have – is in there. Listen to it!
L is for Labor. You will have to labor to get it done. Work is required, yes.
M is for Manage. Manage your activities against your priorities.
N is for “No.” You are going to hear it. Get used to it and get over it!
O is for Opportunity. There is an opportunity in everything. Everything.
P is for Priority. Set them. Without it you will get lost.
Q is for quick. Nothing is quick. Get over it.
R is for Resources. Maximize your resources. You have the help! Use it!
S is Strategize. Strategize how you will get it done and work that strategy!
T is Trust. Trust in yourself. You are good enough and you can do it. Period.
U is for Ugly. Determination and competition can get ugly but you don’t have to.
V is for Victory. Celebrate them all! Small victories win wars. Celebrate each!
W is for Win. You’re going to win, persevere and you will win!
X is for X-Ray. (Not that creative, I know.) BUT you can take an x-ray to your activities and look at the internal workings. What do you see?
Y is for WHY. Why are you doing this?
Z is for Zillion. There are a zillion different ways you can go. Start with one.
*image from pinterest
Feb 21
Confidence for Women: Nothing Comes Easy (I Just Learned!)
There. I said it. Nothing comes easy. I know. It’s tiring. You wear so many hats, have so many different responsibilities. And no one can really quite understand.
Today, I feel foolish and proud. I almost (and I mean inches away) from investing money in a ever-promising marketing plan, an area I feel is a weak spot for me.
I have read, taken classes, talked with people and then more people about marketing and sales. I am comfortable with this because I believe in learning and growth. And today, I feel foolish because I almost invested my hard earned money into a scam. A real-life scam that you see on crazy CNBC shows. But I also feel proud because I did my due diligence, did more research, and concluded, obviously, this was not where we should spend our hard earned money.
Two things come to mind in my reddened face.
- We make mistakes. All the time, we make mistakes. As foolish as I feel, it’s okay to make the mistake. It’s good to feel humbled. I know I can do better.
- “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” ~Thomas Jefferson. By now you probably know I love this quote and believe in it dearly. I know if I do the work, good things will come. I know and believe my hard work, with mistakes and all, will pay off.
Point is – Nothing worth while comes easy. In those moments where you want a break, take it but then get back on the horse and continue to work.
I know I will!
**image from pinterest
Get Out of Overwhelm with Strategic Time Management in 3 Steps
Overwhelm and time management go hand-in-hand don’t they? So often we think of all the things we need to, should have done, wish we’d have done, and would like to do as if they were one thought and all went together.
It’s no wonder that overwhelm comes in! We are processing four things at one time!
Needs, Shoulds, Wishes and Woulds. Naturally, it seems that we, as women, then tackle that list and take of the Needs first. What needs to be done. Yet, again, overwhelm steps in. We are women, mothers, wives and girlfriends, professionals, best friends, house doctors, housekeepers and chefs all in one! Our Needs list, that list of things we need to do, is never ending. Yes, we tackle our list but we all know, it is never ending and there is never enough time for what we want to do.
With a toddler, another baby on the way, a household to take care and a business to run I find I am turning to my past experience and training as a Project Manager more and more to help me stay out of overwhelm, get things done strategically and still feel relatively sane at the end of the day. Below are three things I am proud to share with you.
1. What Am I Trying to Accomplish? Quite literally this is how I start and end my day. With the never ending list of things I need to do, I created my high level goals, now paired down to three things, for which I work towards each day. One is work related. (What am I trying to accomplish?) Another is hobby related. (What am I trying to accomplish?) The third is lifestyle related. (You guessed it, what am I trying to accomplish?) They are big lofty goals that I can only envision require a lot of work and discipline. In the end, I know that these things will make feel more accomplished, be something I am proud to have done and do and will overall raise my level of satisfaction. (Quick note: I am generally one of the most happy and peaceful persons I know, yet I still strive for more simply because this is what I enjoy.)
In the end, my day focuses around what am I trying to accomplish for that day and that week.
2. Be Fair With Yourself and Time. As if you could control how fast time flew by, let’s just admit that things take longer than you anticipate. They always do. Things always take longer which is why I hate “just doing something quickly” because I know it never ends up that way. (I have another full blog written about “Just” that you can read from here.) In any event, it’s fair that things comes up, things take longer than expected, that a simple project is interrupted many times, and that instead of this simple task taking two steps, it will take ten. None of which could you have known until you got started. We are always rushing around as if we are late but how could we not be with so many different responsibilities Really though, the moral of the story is to be fair to yourself and the time it requires to get anything done. As natural multi-taskers, we don’t have the luxury of the world stopping so we can complete something. Be fair to yourself, create small manageable tasks and celebrate each accomplishment. These small tasks, if you do it consistently, will get the bigger stuff done too.
3. Use Your Resources. I can’t tell you if using your online calendar and you phone calendar, journals and notebooks are the answer for you. What I know is what works for me. I know I am very visual and love lists. I have them all over the place. For scheduled things, they go in my online calendar which syncs to my phone. I would be lost forever without it. For my goals, I use notebooks (for long-term tracking) and index cards (for daily tracking) for to-do lists. This may start to sound silly but the index cards are a visual reminder for me to remember what I want to do that day. The notebooks do the same just on a larger scale. I also use Evernote (a great productivity app) to capture all those other lists. These are those lists of things and ideas I would have no idea what to do with elsewhere but know 1) I need to get the thoughts out my head or 2) will want the information in the future. I delegate what I can or what I know will drive me nuts. I use my resources as tools to help me stay organized and on track. Use what you know works for you. Trial and error and consistency will help you get past the minutia of details that stops you.
Best of luck!
**image from ThingsThatSing
Confidence for Women: What It’s Like To Take That Next Step
One of my all time favorite quotes is from The Pilot’s Wife when one says “Sometimes courage is putting one foot in front of another”. I barely remember the story but I remember that quote and have for years. I turn to it all the time because I feel its truth in those moments when I don’t want to or am afraid to take that next step yet I know I need to. It’s that next step where your breath comes in and you feel like you are going to have to hold it forever. Your body is tense and you’re thinking 
My own face turns red, my words always fumble – and heck if you really know me, you know just how badly I can say the perfectly wrong thing at the worst times too. The fear is there and the words came out. I took that next stumbling step. I wobbled, I turn red, and I sweat just a little. The room stopped and starred. “Is this really happening?” I am thinking. They are thinking. “Dear God…” again.
Oooof. I continue to wobble and be red.
On a good day, I remember to calm myself down, collect my thoughts and turn things around.
Sometimes I do. Sometimes it takes more tries and more conversations. Sometimes it is lost completely. Maybe like this post.
But the thing is I survived. I feel I have made a fool of myself, yes. But I have survived. And I have grown. Now I can think about what I would do next time. And when that next time comes, I am just a little bit more ready to take that next step. I wobble less, I fumble on my words less and I am more confidant.
For me, taking the next step is empowering. It can be Hell when you are in the trenches of something new where you have to put yourself out there. But in the end, it’s empowering. I did it. I survived. And I am better because of it.
Then – what’s next??! That wasn’t so hard!
*image from pinterest
Confidence for Women: I Change Everyday
On my own personal path in creating know-how and confidence for women, I am energized and inspired by the people I talk with. Everybody I talk with offers me learning, growth and gratitude. The other night I met 10 women entrepreneurs, all building their path to their future, all different (oh-so different) and inspiring in their own uniqueness.
Today, I am different because of these women the our conversations. I am different because of the help from my MIL and my husband. I am different because of the continuous joy and big smiles produced by my little girl. I am different because of the time I took to take a nap, the time I took to talk with my brother and my dad. I am different because of the time I took to care for my family.
Today, I feel bigger and bolder. I am not who I used to be. And neither are you.
How are you different? Or are you holding on? Are you accepting change? Or are you growing and changing with the world around you? Confidence for women means seeking, growing, taking things as they come as opportunities.
*image from pinterest
Confidence for Women: Take a Queue from Your Husband?
When I think about inspiring confidence for women, to be honest, one of the first things I think about are the differences between men and women. I am a pretty confident gal, I believe there is nothing I can’t learn and therefore, nothing I can’t do. Yes, I need to think about things, ponde
r decisions and let things sit for a while as I get comfortable with new thoughts and decisions. But at the end of the day, I am typically confident of the decisions I make, don’t make and the reasons behind them.
As I watch the HB, a person who never seems to falter in his confidence, I think of how different we are.
He immediately knows what he likes and dislikes, what he will and won’t do, and has a strong opinion on just about everything. He isn’t abrasive about sharing his opinion and will let me go on and on about my opinion until I or someone else has the facts wrong. Then he will offer the facts, as he knows it, to make his case and clarify the situation.
What I find fascinating about how the HB operates is his seemingly immediate (and strong) opinion on things. But what I have learned is that he forms his opinions differently and at separate times than me. More importantly, he presents his opinions differently than a lot people. The HB is always presents that he is sure of his opinion. Perhaps privately he is more wish-washy about something but it will be a rare occasion to see it.
Professionally, he has said how important it is others confidence in him and once he stated how no one wants to (or needs to) hear him “Umm,” “Well,” or “Uhhh”. Instead, he offers various and different options works as a team to determine a course of action. No, “ummm-wells-uhhh”s.
It occurs to me that this presentation of confidence is a major stepping-stone in building confidence. Presentation of your opinions, needs, wants is merely a presentation.
Professionally, you will never see me falter. Not that I am arrogant. I simply know what I know, know what I don’t know and know what to do in both situations. And I understand that if I don’t currently know the answer or solution, it doesn’t mean anything more than that.
What are you presenting? I certainly do not have as strong of opinions as the HB but I like his style. He forms an opinion, makes a decision, yet remains open to possibilities. I would love to hear what’s happening in your household! How are you different, the same, and what you are presenting.
*image from pinterest
Words Worth Reading…
Mark Cuban, billionaire owner of Dallas Mavericks
“In sports, the only thing a player can truly control is effort. The same applies to business. The only thing any entrepreneur, salesperson or anyone in any position can control is their effort.
I had to kick myself in the ass and recommit to getting up early, staying up late and consuming everything I possibly could to get an edge. I had to commit to making the effort to be as productive as I possibly could. It meant making sure that every hour of the day that I could contact a customer was selling time, and when customers were sleeping, I was doing things that prepared me to make more sales and to make my company better.
And finally, I had to make sure I wasn’t lying to myself about how hard I was working. It would have been easy to judge effort by how many hours a day passed while I was at work. That’s the worst way to measure effort.
Effort is measured by setting goals and getting results. What did I need to do to close this account? What did I need to do to win this segment of business? What did I need to do to understand this technology or that business better than anyone? What did I need to do to find an edge? Where does that edge come from, and how was I going to get there?
The one requirement for success in our business lives is effort. Either you make the commitment to get results or you don’t.”
How to Win at the Sport of Business: If I Can Do It, You Can Do It by Mark Cuban
*image from nj.com
Reflect on 2011. Build 2012. A Personal Note.
This year is coming to a close and as the holidays finish off, it feels good to be able to stay put for a minute and reflect on the previous year.
Personally, it has been a year of highs and lows. I have had the great pleasure of witnessing the amazing changes of my little girl in her first year. Each day my love for her grows, I can barely remember the days without her. I have loved watching my husband excel at his job, something he has worked incredibly hard for. I am getting adjusted to being on the West Coast and their weirdness. Living by the water has also literally been a dream come true. Everyday it simply amazes me how vast the ocean is and how equally big the sky is. As you may know in January, we lost my mom at the early age of 69. While she wasn’t in great health, her passing was a complete shock and is to me still today. She and I had the wonderful opportunity the year prior to talk nearly every day. There are few moments that go by that I don’t think of her and miss her.
Professionally, I have worked on moving my business from the East Coast to the West Coast. People naturally loved the work I did back East and always wanted to continue working with me. Work was fun and finding work was easy. On the West, I am new and am in the middle of a big learning curve. Many people have said I should change my title from the “Girl Who Could” to the “Girl Who Did.” For me, I will always continue to learn and grow, I will continue to have new challenges and opportunities but never will I stop. Nor will I stop believing in my abilities to tackle my next adventure, as I continue with my West Coast transition.
In the meantime, I have loved writing my blog even when I haven’t been sure how many people have read it, learned from it or been impacted by it. I feel like the world is being led and taught by old white men. And frankly, being far from that, I have lost interest in learning from them, as they are not one I aspire to be. I feel there is a voice missing for people (and women especially) to help them find their true selves and learn how to bring it out – without blowing up the world around them. I believe in the use of language, improved communication and clear intentions make this process a little bit easier to accomplish.
And of course, as you know me, I love business. I love small business. I love the little engine that could. For me, it is all about the process and helping the next success story come alive! For you and for me!
Reflect on 2011. Build 2012. And thank you for sticking with me!
Ashleigh
*image from pinterest
